Wednesday, April 4
Lost for words.
I'm lost. I just don't know what to do. I'm really feeling down in the dumps right now. Part of me just feels like killing myself, the other just wants to sit around and wait for a miracle to happen. The only person whom i could confide in and tell anything to just gave me the scolding of a lifetime. I don't understand what is so wrong about giving others another chance to prove their worth. It's the same as jailed criminals. After they're released its the same as giving them another chance to start anew right? So whats wrong with giving someone else that one chance to prove themselves. I don't understand why you have to scream and shout at me when all i did was ask you for a piece of advice. What did i do wrong? I just needed someone to talk to and instead i got shouted at and degraded as if i were but a speck of dust or dirt on the floor. It's not as though i was 100% sure of giving her that chance. I just needed someone to confirm my doubts. But what the hell did i do wrong by asking you that question? Did i commit an offense? Did i break the law? Then why the fuck was i shouted at for no apparent reason? You're making it sound as though i'm the one at fault, as if this whole entire mess is to be fully blamed on me and no one else? WHY? why must you do this to me? Have i not been tortured enough by this entire ordeal that you have to add salt to the wound?
I always thought you would be there for me, to give me advice and to guide me through. But i was wrong. True, i need to come to my senses. But shouting at me is no different than talking to me nicely. Is it that difficult? Sigh. Just let me die why don't you since you don't really care anymore.
9:45 PM