I always stare at that letter that you wrote me. Thinking that, wow i never knew one could love another so much.After these past few weeks i begin to realise that you've really changed. You're not the person that you used to be.I'm starting to love spending time with you and even a short conversation on the phone keeps me happy for the night.But now, i'm scared, scared that something might happen, something that i've been dreading all along.

I'm afraid of losing you.

When you're gone, there will be no one there. No one there to hold my hand when i'm alone, no one to hug me when i'm feeling cold and need some warmth, no one to share all the things that happen to me in my life. I feel so lost.I don't know what to do anymore. Every night i go to sleep with the thought of you in my mind, every day without you is like an entire day without food. I'm on the verge of crying now, i feel like shit knowing that there's nothing that i can do about it but sit patiently and wait for the day that you will sit beside me and tell me that everything is okay now. Then and only then will i feel at ease.

Occasionally i would open up the email that you sent me, reading through it and the only thought that goes through my mind is that i have never regretted giving you another chance. You've really changed. And i'm loving every bit of it. I'm not blaming you for what is going on now, because it is not your fault. The one to be blamed is that fucking son of a bitch who wants to break us apart. Even though you assure me that you will not spend time with him there is no doubt that he will try his very best to get close to you.

Like now, it's 7.00pm and here i am typing this with a broken heart while you're happily playing games of Rabbit vs Sheep with him, both of you enjoying yourselves with not a care in the world. I can't tear myself away from the fact that he still likes you despite the letter that you wrote him telling him that you only want him as a friend. It's not as easy as it seems.


I've been through what he has, it's something called unrequitted love. The girl i secretly admired for over a month went and got herslef attached one fine night, the minute i found out i couldn't stop blaming myself for not admitting to her that i really liked her. But i persisted, hoping that one day she would leave that guy. Eventually she did, but i didn't make my move. Why? because i realised that our friendship would change if we would have gone into a relationship.

Even though it's not really related, i fairly know how a guy feels when he realises that the girl he is madly in love with is attached. His heart will burn with the passion to make her feel that he can love and care for her more than her current beau. Now you're playing DotA with him, i feel so upset but yet i hold my tongue, because i don't want you to think that i am controlling your life like a puppet on strings.

I have a million words that i could use to describe how i'm feeling right now. But i don't think being emotional would be the right thing to do right now.

Something hits my heart real hard when i always read the email you sent me.ANd i will always hold that sentence close to my heart. Though i don't know if you do remember but i can't help but drop a tear everytime i read it. It goes something like this,


"You know what i'll wish for if i had one wish now ? I wish that you'll be there to grow up with me happily."


Love is such a complicated thing, it can make us happy or it can take away that happiness and turn it into one of the worst things we can ever experience. I sometimes pray that everything will be alright in time to come. And i hope that whoever is up there will answer my prayers. There's nothing that i can do, it's not as if i can possibly beat him till he can't even walk.That would be just inhuman. But i just want to let you know that whatever your decision may be. I will respect that decision and that you will have my blessings as much as it aches my heart to do so. I shall end here.

I love you my darling.No matter what happens my heart will always be with you.