Learning to let go and move on has never been this painful. But i think we all have to at some point. memories to put aside, whether happy or sad.I'm going to need more than just painkillers to relive this pain.spent time today talking to Cal and mouse before coming to a decision. This is wad Cal told me:

"Dude, if you're going nowhere there's no point to keep on driving. You need to make a decision before you become more indecisive"

Yes, I am an indecisive person. The longer i'm attached or have feelings for something/someone the longer i take to let go. There's something that most people don't know. I'm actually very emotional because i spent more time with my mom during my younger years than my dad. I'm not like those cold-hearted jerks who could throw something precious aside just because it has no sentimental value. I try to treasure everything i have until there's no point in having it anymore.

Pretty much you guys could guess what i'm talking about now.Anyway this was what mouse told me:

you make me sick but dont ever go away ت said:
lol i cant really decide for you, but what i can tell you, me being a girl, is that its really a vicious cycle.. its like she gets your attention everytime she cries, then you comfort her and yay happy again, and then she wants to feel loved again so she tries it again

you make me sick but dont ever go away ت said:
maybe she feels insecure and tries to compensate for it by attempting to dominate your attention by crying

After thinking about it for awhile i start to realise that it's actually true. I've yet to figure out how a girl's mind works anyway >.< . Just like what Melswee told me over the phone the other day,


"I can give in, I just don't want him to think that I submit to him so easily"

Something along those lines, kinda forgot. Anyway, it's been really fun. For the time we spent together. Really enjoyable. Only thing is I don't feel i'm the one for her. I can make her happy for a certain period of time(1-2days) then everything goes back to normal. I'm starting to think i'm not boyfriend material. Oh well, I don't wish to brood over it anymore. It's for the best.