Sometimes you feel that maybe someone will be better off without you in their lives. Sometimes you tend to think, that someone doesn't need you at all because whether or not you're dead or alive it won't even matter.

So this is me, saying what i've kept inside me all along.

You will never know how much you've hurt me. Emotionally and Mentally. I've been trying so hard. Till i'm on the verge of breaking down. The thing that hurts me the most is that you don't even treat me as something that has feelings.

Two and a half years i've waited. Patiently, because of what you've said to me 4 days after the day we met.

Why not we build up a solid friendship first? I really like you as a friend and i don't want to spoil it

And since i'm like that, i slowly built the friendship up. But like what you quoted from someone,

If there's only one person struggling to uphold the integrity of the relationship then he/she will sooner or later crumble under the sheer immense weight. This is what we call in crude terms gone fuck.

So how do you expect me to keep holding up this friendship when you don't even want to play the part of a friend?

I'm not angry, i'm not frustrated, i'm upset. I'm really disappointed that 2½ years of friendship had to come to this.

Metaphorically speaking, i've been "stabbed" by you so many times, till i've come to a point where i'm tired of removing the knives altogether.

The worst was when i discovered that giving you time to let go of your past actually made you think more about it and go running back into a fire you just came out of. It broke my heart. And there's no coming back from that. Knowing that i will never be significant in your eyes.

But if that's the way you want things to be like, then i can only say that it's been great knowing you. But anything beyond that, i guess i can never say...