The life as it's told from the authors point of view :D

Exit

2009-06-30T12:52:00.001+08:00

Mixed emotions

2009-06-01T02:36:00.002+08:00

Countdown: 15 days.

A bag of mixed emotions fills him, just awaiting that sharp shiny object that will prod it and spill everything inside him. There are a lot of things that he keeps inside, bottled up and vacuumed air tight so that nothing gets out. Things that he won't even tell anyone.

Then again who doesn't have secrets. Seems that staying at home is the only cure for him. Roaming around brings back memories. And triggers of 'what might have been'.

This won't do. He needs a place. Somewhere he can spill everything. A place that is free from judgmental eyes.

2009-05-05T01:39:00.002+08:00

He saw this on Melody's blog and decided to post it,

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them. When it rains, look for the rainbow.

He's going serve his National Service soon. And once he goes in, that will be the end of his freedom. Sad to say it's going to be a very very miserable two years. But of course he will try to make the best of it. Looking forward to the day that he can step out and smell the fresh air once again. And perhaps, someone will be there to welcome him back to the world with hugs and kisses as well? haha =D *dreaming*

Kiss from a rose

2009-04-18T21:50:00.007+08:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

"Kiss From A Rose"

There used to be a graying tower alone on the sea.
You became the light on the dark side of me.
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.
But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and
The light that you shine can be seen.
Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray.
Ooh,
The more I get of you,
The stranger it feels, yeah.
And now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the gray.
There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain,
My power, my pleasure, my pain, baby
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny.
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby?
But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray.
Ooh, the more I get of you
The stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the gray,
I've been kissed by a rose on the gray,
I've been kissed by a rose
I've been kissed by a rose on the gray,
...And if I should fall along the way
I've been kissed by a rose
...been kissed by a rose on the gray.
There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain
My power, my pleasure, my pain.
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny, yeah
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby.
But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray.
Ooh, the more I get of you
The stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the gray.
Yes I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray
Ooh, the more I get of you
The stranger it feels, yeah
And now that your rose is in bloom
A light hits the gloom on the gray
Now that your rose is in bloom,

A light hits the gloom on the gray

Anyone remember this song? It's awesome. The only thing he probably inherited from his Dad. Loving oldies :D

Hearts Aplenty

2009-04-14T19:14:00.002+08:00

"back to SIN, a new number on the way"

was what her nickname read. And yet he had heard neither piece of news. It broke his heart just reading it. Did he really make things so awkward between them that she couldn't even stand the mere thought of starting a conversation with each other?

Just this morning he was walking to the bank with the daily cash deposit from work when he walked by the place where it had all started. Memories flashed past him as he sipped his Gulp. Sad to say that it was over as soon as it began, just that, he was blinded by hearts aplenty to see it.

From their last encounter on MSN, things had been fine with him. Nothing much had been going on and no major upsets had occurred, until today when he had awoken from his nap and scrolled down his contacts list to see if Glen could cover his shift for tomorrow for an urgent cause.

1 word. Just 1, could describe everything that he was feeling at this point of time.

Fuck.

Well, whoever said it was going to be a pretty word anyway?

zoo was good

2009-03-27T21:55:00.001+08:00

The author says hello to a certain someone.

since he knows that she's going to read his blog when he goes offline.

anyway. zoo was good. he will upload lots and lots of pics when he gets home.

and he misses a certain someone :).

will see you guys in 2 daysdays! chao~

Perth International Airport

2009-03-26T15:04:00.002+08:00

Aussie has not been nice to Brandon.

It's super cold there and he almost freezed to death at Perth International Airport.

Apart from that he's doing fine :)

Not like anyone who reads cares anyway... sigh.

will be going to the zoo tomorrow!

and Kings Park the day after~

will take lots of peektures!!! :D

And he can't find his red & black crocs athens!!!!! ZOMFG *emos*

2009-03-25T01:54:00.001+08:00

The author of this blog will not be posting prior to the dates mentioned below,

25th March-30th March 2009

Reason: HE'S NOT GOING TO BE IN SINGAPORE :D

BON VOYAGE :))

It just keeps getting better and better

2009-03-23T23:50:00.002+08:00

The purchase was made just a mere two days before his trip to Perth! A great addition to his itinerary! SWEET! :D Every bit of this trip is going to be pure enjoyment. It's like this trip was made to be a turning point in his life. It just keeps getting better and better.

AKG K80 DJ watch out! You're next on his list :)

The first person you fall for

2009-03-19T12:42:00.002+08:00

He looked blankly at the blinking cursor on his laptop screen. Somehow everything felt very empty all of a sudden. Despite the upcoming trip to Perth to look forward to, it didn't energize him as much as he thought it would.

The day before, he happened to stumble upon a rather disturbing image. Something that instantly caused a flashback, with every painful memory that he had chosen to throw aside dating from November 2008- January 2008. Still, he couldn't help but smile to himself silently as he thought of it.

"The first person you fall for, no matter who,where,when,why and how, will always be magical."

The recent visit to the airport with Cal to check out flight information regarding their flight nearly killed him inside. It was like reliving a nightmare. Taking the exact same bus, arriving late, rushing to the lift only to miss it at the last second, and sub-consciously he had worn the exact same shirt that he wore that very day, only realising it when he had stepped through the sliding doors with the huge words which read "TERMINAL 3" above them.

He promised himself, that this would be the last girl he would go after. But did it have to be the most painful as well? He had a written agreement in his head that he would go after a girl only if she was fluent in English and would never have to go overseas for long periods of time. And yet, ironically enough, he had fallen for one the exact opposite of the criteria he had set for himself.

"Stop jumping, let your feet touch the ground for once, and see how it feels"

there are some things money can't buy

2009-03-13T23:34:00.003+08:00

AKG K518 LE Red- $165

New Balance China Mask Red -$103

Crocs Athens Red& Black-$30

attempting to save money for all this while planning for an overseas trip- priceless

There are some things money can't buy, for everything else, PLEASE GO FUCKING ROB A BANK.

OWNAGE!

2009-03-09T23:32:00.003+08:00

He looked at his phone nervously, which was vibrating upon his desk, awaiting it's owner to pick up the incoming call. With all his hope left in him he took the call,

"Hi, may i speak to Brandon please?" came the voice on the other side.

"Yup?" he replied. His heart racing with anxiety.

"Ahh, i'm calling from City Chain regarding the watch you sent in a few days ago" the caller breathed over the phone. "I've managed to find a more suitable bracelet for your watch that fits, however it's not perfect but it's the closest i can find, would you like to come down to take a look?"

His heart feeling a thousand times lighter, and with a slight tinge of near insanity in his voice, he replied," sure, what time do you guys close? Can i come down now?"

"We close at 6pm, but walk-in's are until 5.30pm so feel free to drop by any time until 5.30pm" the voice at the other end of the line said.

"Ok, i'll come down right now" he answered, nearly squealing with delight.

And after an hour of travelling coupled with 30 minutes of waiting and $55 paid to the receptionist almost unwillingly, he left with a smile on his face and thanked the technician as he entered the lift with his brand new watch. And the result?

OWNAGE! :D

2009-03-05T23:31:00.003+08:00

sidetracking from my stage of seeking forgiveness....

WHOEVER CAN GET ME THIS PAIR OF SHOES I WILL PRAY TO YOU AS MY PERSONAL GOD EVERY DAY. ITS SGD$135. I WEAR SIZE 12 THANK YOU(yeah yeah i know it's huge. But who gives a damn? I certainly don't). Once i get this and change the watch strap that Niki and Glen gave me I WILL WEAR MY FULL RED & BLACK ATTIRE AND TAKE PEEKTURES. WAHAHAHA OWNAGE MAN.

A thousand aplogies.

2009-03-05T21:57:00.001+08:00

I posted it on facebook and now i'm posting it here. I want the whole world to know that i made the biggest mistake of my life.

This note is not for anybody to pass on. This is a note of apology. I'm going to tell everyone and anyone who wants to see this that I, Brandon Wong , am the scum of this Earth and i deserve to die for hurting my friends Glen and Niki. Feel free to hurl insults at me because i highly recommend it.

On 3rd March 2009 I went to a chalet with both of them at Sentosa organized by one of our colleagues who shall remain unnamed. When the clock struck 12, i disappeared without a trace because i wanted to be alone. A very self-centered and selfish move on my part. The rest of the night followed through as it was but i wasn't myself and it's not their fault at all. Because i never did realize their part of the story.

On the day of my birthday we had to check out of the chalet. Till that moment until we parted ways i neither received any present of any kind, nor was a celebration held to commemorate the day. Being the insensitive asshole that i was i only thought on my part and told myself that they didn't care that it was even my birthday and to even get me a gift despite me doing the complete opposite for their birthdays in the past year.

Awhile later i sent Niki a message spilling out everything that i had kept inside. At that point i didn't consider anyone's feelings but mine so without thinking i sent it, finally feeling better inside. But what i didn't know was that i brought a world of hurt to my two close friends whom i treasured. I let my feelings get the better of me and it hurt the two people who matter the most to me.

The truth was, i only thought for myself and not about them. Glen had insufficient time and capital because he had three birthdays to celebrate including mine and also due to his exams just finishing the week before. Niki had her pay delayed and was also short on capital. Not even considering the above factors i went ahead and blasted the both of them with everything that i felt inside. Not knowing that it would hurt them.

Those who are close with me will know that i sometimes tend to think of myself before others which happens on occasion. And that i say things that sounds ok to me but hurts others it some way or another.

I just want to say that over the past two days i have been the biggest jackass and the lousiest friend to the both of them and i do not deserve them as friends. But i'm not going to let them go no matter what.

Glen and Niki, you guys have shown me what true friends really are. After Glen scolded me in an entire train of people(which i totally deserve), i came out of the station and teared just before i called Niki to apologize. I know i hurt the both of you in ways nobody can imagine. I love you guys and nothing will ever make me give up on this friendship. Hopefully you can find it in your heart to put aside what has happened today and yesterday and start from scratch. I really don't want to lose either of you because of some petty temper that i was throwing.

I am truly sorry and i hope that both of you can forgive me. This friendship means more to me than life itself and without either of you life will never ever be the same.

the lone star..

2009-03-05T00:22:00.002+08:00

Midnight. He sat on the beach alone, in the still of the night, listening to the waves crash against the sandy shore. Painful memories flashed past him at every instant, forcing him to recall the events that occurred two months back...

“我可以问你一个问题吗？可是我问你之后你一定要回答我...”

“？”

“你为什么会喜欢上我呢？”

the vibration of his phone snapped him back to reality. It was Glen, probably curious as to where he had disappeared to after his long absence from the chalet room. Not wanting to be rude he left it to vibrate while still gazing out onto the ocean. After the call diverted itself to his voice mailbox he instantly switched it off, an obvious signal that he wanted to be left alone and not wanting to be rude to constantly not picking up Glen's call.

He looked at the horizon ahead, which distinctively resembled what he saw that very night at East Coast. Lights blinking from the distant ships stationed at the nearby harbor and the sky above them similar to that of a sunrise. He took his bottle of Barcadi Breezer and thew it neck-first into the ocean.

Looking up into the night sky once again he noticed that the sky was shrouded in dark clouds, all but one star was twinkling in the blanket of clouds. He looked at it and softly chuckled to himself. "Looks like i'm not the only one who's alone tonight buddy" he said to himself as he jumped off the lifeguard chair that he had settled in for the past hour. Feet sand-filled and heart as cold as ice, he slowly made his way to the 7-11 nearby.

After purchasing a cone of chocolate ice cream for it's natural aphrodisiac and a cup of noodles to curb his hunger pangs, he made his way back to the resort and climbed over the gate. After filling his cup of noodles with hot water and nearly scalding himself in the process, he proceeded to rest on one of the arm chairs along the poolside. Shortly after, Niki appeared in front of him and interrogated him about his absence. Upset as he was, he tried to maintain a positive mindset and told her that everything was fine, when it sure as hell wasn't.

________________________________________________________________

The next day wasn't any better. The minute he woke up he was stuck in a reality that no one really bothered to properly celebrate his birthday. A reality he forced himself to believe a dream. Even the two people whom he thought genuinely cared about him didn't give two hoots about it.

It wasn't a matter of buying a gift exactly, even a simple card would have sufficed . But the only thing he got was a birthday wish and that was the end to it. Even a blind person could see that they didn't give a shit about it. Sure he had spent considerable amounts on them when their birthdays were around the corner but that was beside the point. What mattered was that his thoughts had gone unappreciated. Then again, when has anything he did for anyone been appreciated?

He thought about every little thing that he had done for them. Waiting for them to finish work so that they could cab home together, running off from work abruptly to buy medication for them because they were sick and didn't feel well. Trying to help them in any way he could. And yesterday was a day that put their friendship to the test. And he finally realised something after what happened. He was not their friend. Not even close.

From today onwards, this very moment, Peach is dead.

indecisions

2009-02-21T15:21:00.003+08:00

when you come across an opportunity, it means God is telling you to decide for yourself whether you want to take a step forward in your life, or stay where you are and not change a thing. I had one of those opportunities yesterday, but i blew it. I guess i'm not ready to step out of my shell. Then again i'm more of a introverted person so i guess it's kinda hard for me to open up to others.

On a lighter note...

I HAVE OFFICIALLY FINISHED MY LAST EXAM PAPER!!!!! :D
(i think)

Hopefully i don't have to take any supp papers. Couple of things to look forward to in the coming weeks ahead.

- Bangkok trip with Cal!
- JB trip with Peanut and Lime!

To anyone who comes across this, if you want to see me one last time before i enlist into NS(which is probably around june or july?), please either send me a sms or IM me on msn. I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT.

emptiness

2009-02-02T21:31:00.001+08:00

kill me... for i am nothing now but an empty body.

my heart, my soul, my entire being has been ripped apart. All because of five magical words,

不
要
等
我
了

:)

2009-01-29T13:28:00.003+08:00

all the people in this group are online... except one.... the one that i want to see online the most.. sigh.. Even Joel whom i seldom see using msn is online.

You know the feeling of how you always dream about something so nice that when you suddenly wake up you feel so, how do i put it, so 'zomfgwtfbbqknnccb' ? Yeah i just had one of those dreams. And this time i'm really banking on the whole 'dreams come true' thing. Because it's what i really want.

2009-01-20T01:59:00.004+08:00

he watched as she jumped along, happily holding her bag and saying , "我要回家了!".
Knowing that whatever he did at this point will not change anything, he smiled and silently walked behind her.

The departure gates loomed ahead. She turned around, and looked at the two of them. "我走了.." she said as her smile slowly turned into a slight frown. She hugged one of the two and turned to the other and extended a hand. Thinking that it was probably a good idea not to mess things up at this point of time, he took it and shook it hard, knowing deep inside his heart that the next time he would see her will only be three months later.

Before she turned around he stopped her, words twirling at the tip of his tongue but not knowing how to say it. He handed her a yellow bag, containing two cards and a bottle filled with paper stars. At this point all he could do was to tell her to open it when she was on board the plane. He managed to gather minimal strength to raise an arm to wave her goodbye. The other walked with her to the entrance of the departure gates while he stood there rooted to the ground like a statue, repeatedly telling himself to be strong and not cry.

Then she turned around for one last glance and blew the both of them flying kisses, and turned her back on them to finally bid them farewell....

She was the only one who changed the way his heart beats, and no matter what happens, he will never ever forget her...

2009-01-13T01:09:00.001+08:00

time is ticking Brandon... what are you going to do?

*tick-tock tick-tock*

2009-01-09T00:55:00.002+08:00

it's time like this that.... suicide makes plenty of sense. Now i know why people want to kill themselves.

It's so unfair that every god damn fucking thing that happens to me always turns out badly. I try to stay positive, but whenever i think positive something negative comes around the corner and smacks me in the face.

i've tried crying, but i'm just too numb to the pain to cry anymore.

2009-01-03T03:28:00.002+08:00

19 more days... and counting..

Every second that passes is like waiting for a time bomb to explode...

Every minute is like a knife thrown to my chest...

Every hour that i have to go through is like dying twice over...

Every day that i see myself doing this i ask myself why... Is it really worth it?

Will she really appreciate you for who you are?

Only time will tell.. until then... i guess i have to keep on waiting...

Are you lonesome tonight...

2008-12-31T22:54:00.003+08:00

Once again i find myself alone for new years eve. It's been like this for the past four years straight in a row. Somehow i find myself getting used to it. Hopefully next year might be different. Who knows...

Another year has gone by, so many things have changed over the past year... I finally got a job, lost some weight, got a new laptop,handphone, tons of shoes, made a whole lot of new friends and am single again =) . Things don't look too bleak on the financial and educational side but it'd be nice to have someone to share my thoughts with from time to time. Someone who i can look to as a person who will listen without feeling obliged. Hmm.

There are some stuff i don't want to say here so it'll probably go on my other blog. =) Happy New Year to all of my faithful readers :D

2008-12-22T19:27:00.002+08:00

Some things are unavoidable, no matter what you do. That night, i told you what you needed to know and what i thought you should know. Maybe you have bad past experiences, but who doesn't have skeletons in their own closet? I have my share of past experiences too, some of which might change your mind after you know about it. But if we could forget that and maybe start from scratch, then maybe we can really be happy.

Sometimes i wished that mistletoe grew on trees. That would make things so much easier.

Wish list for Christmas:
-Razer Deathadder
-Digital Camera or SE C905
-You

I don't want this moment
To ever end
Where everything's nothing, without you
I wait here forever just to,
To see you smile
'Cause it's true
I am nothing without you.

2008-12-17T01:42:00.003+08:00

i had so much fun today! :)

but... i'm lazy to talk about it. So here are some pictures! :D

Went to kallang leisure park today. Skating ring was undergoing ice resurfacing(which we didn't realise was at 7pm which we though to be at 6pm because we didn't see the notice for the change in ice resurfacing times). So anyway we went to the arcade. And... i caught this! In the claw machine! Ha! The funny thing was i caught in on my second last try after spending almost 10 bucks trying out different machines.

Looks spastic huh? lol. But it kinda makes you wanna laugh every time you look at it. Then i got kinda sadistic and did this to it.

Heh. I love mistreating toys.

So in the end we did go for ice skating after having dinner and chilling at starbucks for awhile. It was all fun. I can't remember the last time i had that much fun. We ended at 10pm which was pretty late given that the rink was closing and we went in at 8pm.

This is an Indonesian restaurant there. iWannaGetStuffed? LOL.

Giant M&M's containing little M&M's! Going at $4.60 lol

And that pretty much sums up my day. Fun fun fun. Let's see. I've still got 5 more weeks to go. Gotta make the best of it =).

2008-12-08T02:57:00.002+08:00

love is complicated.

so are feelings.

hot and cold. Who knows what means what?

How is it even possible to like someone who doesn't feel the same way as you?

I just realised that all this while, i was running away. Running away from reality. I was too afraid of the truth so i chose to run away and stick to whatever i was thinking.

"One day you'll get tired of all this boy-girl stuff and realise that hanging out with your friends is the best thing to do. When love comes it does so naturally, you don't have to go looking for it."

I wonder if all this while my efforts have been futile. Whether or not they have made a change anywhere. If destiny deems it to be this way there is nothing i can do to change it. All along i thought that if i played my cards right i might win something. Who knew that i might end up losing everything that i ever had.

In any case i'm going to isolate myself from the outside world once i enter NS. That way i don't have to worry about anything and i can peacefully "wait" until love comes knocking on my door instead of me constantly trying to break down the door.

I don't know how it will be for me to carry on like this when clearly it's affecting me so badly. I'm getting confused from every angle. Can't someone just throw me a frigging hint somewhere so i can pick it up, understand it throughly and carry on with my life.

I realise that i'm very dependant on people for advise, i can't seem to make my own decisions. Especially life changing ones.

Anyway i guess my life is meant to be filled with misery., sigh

2008-12-05T01:52:00.002+08:00

i really don't know what i'm doing or throwing myself into. i need to think this through carefully before i cause something drastic to happen.

Should i be so selfish and carry on with what i'm doing? i mean, i wouldn't want the same thing to happen if it were me. sigh...

2008-12-04T13:11:00.000+08:00

wahahaha. Need i say more? <33333333333333333333333333333333

2008-11-30T01:47:00.003+08:00

i really enjoyed myself on Thursday. haha. 13th December! my chance to change my life. i don't know what's going to happen but i'm going to pull out every trick in the book. I realised what i've been missing all this while.

To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may mean the world.

but what if there are two different worlds?

well, i'm really grateful that i got to live in the same one as you =)

On a lighter note, going to get a hard disk and something else for someone tomorrow at Sitex. Damn Razer for not joining Sitex this time round. I was looking forward to laying my hands on a Razer DeathAdder and annihilating everything in my path hehe.

2008-11-25T02:36:00.004+08:00

you know i was thinking. what if i turned my life into a story? and i wrote down every little part of it? hmmm... thoughts anyone?

boom boom boom!

2008-11-25T00:28:00.002+08:00

meet my new wicked sick sound blasting thing of godlikeness. CrossRoads MylarOne Bijou 3. this is where sound meets God. hahahahaha. Love it to bits and pieces! it came with a free amplifier as well, but i gave it to the tech geek of a sister i have. This thing really pwns. It's like zoMfG gaylike. Of course good things come at a price. heh.

Things to do this week:

-Report for CCom by Thursday
-Try not to screw up my judging
-Prepare for Thursday :)
-Juggle work and schoolwork.

Hard to do the last one. I'm kinda having trouble planning my time out evenly. Help.

2008-11-19T03:19:00.006+08:00


watch CAREFULLY. especially the last few seconds. Really LOL


This is what you get when you work too much.


Best Restaurant prank. I really LOL-ed when i watched this

2008-11-19T02:18:00.002+08:00

I have so many things i want to say but i just don't know how to phrase them. So many feelings all kept inside me.

Even if i do manage to wait, how long will it actually last? Is it even possible to go long term?

I can't even work without thinking of you now. Doing bar is even worse because most drinks require ____ and you're always asking me for it whenever you're thirsty.

I seriously hope i don't get thrown in bar tomorrow.

I know God doesn't create miracles, he gives opportunities for the miracles to happen. So dear God, if by some unknown way you manage to come across this i hope you can give me an opportunity to prove to her how much she means to me.

To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may mean the world :)

2008-11-15T07:51:00.003+08:00

just reached home. just had one of the best midnight outings ever. How i wish it could happen every now and then. i love you guys. thanks for the fun time :)

i'm falling.. falling for you.
so hard and so fast that i can't stop it.
what do i do?
Accept what could happen in the future and pretend that it doesn't matter?
Or hold in my feelings and don't do anything about it?
Sigh. Love is such a complicated feeling.

2008-11-13T01:26:00.007+08:00

I learned two important life lessons today.

-Freedom comes at a price.
-The harder you try, the harder you're going to fall.

Let's talk about the first one. Today was TCC's fifth anniversary. And they had the celebration at Atrium. Of course i was working there so i was a part of it. It was fun all the way toward the end, when they started drinking.

People started getting drunk, some lost their temper, one vomitted and another didn't want to go home.

Even though i could have chosen to drink(which i don't), i didn't because i knew very well that if i did i wouldn't be able to tell what would have become of me. I mean the mood was there no doubt. I was this close to almost downing my entire glass of champagne. But after realising that it would get me no where i went over to Louie and poured the contents of my glass into his. Seeing all of them like that, i thank my lucky stars that i don't drink. Getting drunk is not something i would want to be proud of. I wouldn't want to wake up the next morning on the street with no recollection of whatever happened the night before.

So what if drinking helps to relieve stress? So what if you're feeling upset and want to drink away your sorrows? I don't see any link between the two. It's like saying you want to rob a bank because you want to impress a girl from your school. IT MAKES NO FRIGGIN SENSE.

Frankly speaking i feel that people who do something else because of how they feel are total cowards. They have the gall to create the mess for themselves but don't have any to face up to reality. You messed it up, you clean it. You don't spill water on the carpet and leave it there to go have lunch hoping that after a period of time it'll dry up. Sure it will dry up eventually, but the stain will be there to haunt you forever unless you do something to remove it permanently.

Second thing i learned, the harder you try, the harder you fall.

I see him trying so hard... until a point where it almost makes me want to laugh. Sure, he has access to the resources that i don't. But at this point of time, i'm sure you're not what she's looking for. Try as hard as you might, i'm no one to judge. But i can tell that she's just trying to be nice by not putting you down, giving you the respect that you deserve. You smoke and drink, which is a past that she's trying to put behind her. How is she going to be able to do that when you're constantly doing it? Don't smoke or drink in front of her? Sure, but for how long?

You don't understand her, because you can't think on the same level as her. You will never understand how she feels, because you have never gone through what she has. I'm not proud to say that i know exactly how she feels because i've been through the same scenearios, but right now she needs to get her life in order before she moves on to other things. And you're probably ignorant of all that, with just one hope at the back of your mind that she will choose you over everyone else on the planet.

i don't know if you will see this, and if you do and are 110% sure that you won't want to be more than friends, please don't give him the hope that it's possible. Make it clear to him right here and now. Because if you're going to drag this and reject him in the end you're just going to add one more problem for yourself. Because you see him on a day to day basis and it will be awkward. I'm just hoping that you will do this to give yourself one less problem. I know it's hard to cope with studies and your personal life, so don't go drag your work into it. I'll be here if you need to talk about anything. Just give me a call day or night, i love knocking sense into people =)

2008-11-05T01:48:00.002+08:00

sometimes i don't even know why i bother to care for people who don't even want to make their own lives easier for themselves. I show concern as a friend, not expecting anything in return. Just hoping that maybe you will do whats best for yourself and not make rash decisions which will lead to regret later on.

But you have your own life to live.

Who am i to care right? No one asked me to care in the first place, why am i such a busybody? Can't i just mind my own business? It's your life, you do as you please.

Fine.

tales of the barista.. part one! :D

2008-11-03T01:03:00.004+08:00

attempted to do foam art with chocolate sauce.

attempt 1

attempt 2.

well the first attempt looks neater than the second because i was kinda rushing for time on the second attempt. But i'll improve. :D

And i managed to do precise layering for my Roca Almondo.

Top layer would be the milk foam, then the espresso, followed by the milk and a tiny layer of almond syrup and lastly the caramel sauce. So proud of myself lol. And if you think it's easy i'd like to see you try.

And i bought a new pair of shoes today! I wanted to get the AC Milan jacket as well because the color combination was uber godlike. Carnage colors(red and black). My favourite combination. But i passed because the shoes weren't that cheap either. But still it was worth it because the shoes cost over $200 and i gotthem at almost half price of $120. :D And here they are.

Tales of the barista to be continued! :)

2008-11-02T02:43:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wonder what i should be doing with my life. Is this what i really want? I want to pretend that nothing remotely big happened and just carry on with what i do every day.

But.. i'm very bad at keeping my emotions bottled up inside. Maybe i should just refer to my colleagues as colleagues and let them stay that way. Nothing more, nothing less. I work with them, smile at them, joke with them and nothing more than that. No more outings, drinking whatsoever. Any celebrations that require my presence i will not be there. Because ultimately these are people whom i can't be friends with forever. I can't see myself being in contact with them 10 years from now.

Call me self centered, selfish or whatever you please. Things have already gotten so complicated over a period of two months. All because of one person.

Sure, my actions may seem like i have feelings for her. But unlike you i don't go and complicate things. I don't put any form of pressure on her. She's already having such a hard time coping with her studies and work and her personal life at the same time, will it kill you to at least let her get her affairs in order before doing anything? God knows what the hell you told her, but i stand by it that i only show concern for her as a friend. Nothing more. You affected both our lives by trying to be a third party and spreading false rumours about the whole situation. I don't know why you can't just fucking grow up and think about others before youself you dumb motherfucker...

hah

2008-10-31T03:11:00.003+08:00

i just reassured myself that i absolutely with every single ounce of strength in my body that i...

HATE KTV'S :)

Now i know why i dont go for Kbox outings or anything else related to that. Senseless screaming for a price. Hmm.. if i wanted that i would have gone to woodbridge lol. No offence to you guys. Not that i didn't like the company but i just don't like the idea of trying to strain my vocal chords to sing when i jolly well know i can't =) .

2008-10-28T14:36:00.001+08:00

stupid Vincent Wong. Cancelled a class and didnt bother to inform anyone. Now i have to sit in the stupid lab for 4 hours and do nothing. bahh. Bored as hell.

Work tomorrow. I'll probably be dong bar. Don't like to keep having to wash my shirt. Damn.

2008-10-24T10:27:00.003+08:00

yesterday was super duper fun. Best night of my life. If only i had pictures. Damn. Maybe i'll get them somehow. But anyway, Happy Birthday to Niki! Haha. The staff of TCC have managed to establish a love/hate relationship with her because thats all she was shouting the entire night.

*high pitch voice*

OMG I LOVE YOU GUYS (when we surprised her with the cake)

*high pitch voice*

I HATE YOU ALL (when Matt poured water all over her)

Had a tiny little bit of vodka with some orange juice. about 10ml? haha. But it goes straight to your stomach man. Post drinking warning to myself. Never drink on an empty stomach. haha.

And my bar training has officially started. TIme passes quick while doing bar but i don't like the amount of stress. Anyway there are alot of drinks i've yet to learn. Long way more to go. haha.

Alright gotta get ready for school. Bye!

2008-10-21T21:39:00.003+08:00

i suddenly realised what's it's like to be single again. And i have to admit that it feels great! I don't have to answer to anyone and i spend only on myself and i don't have to deal with emotional pain.

Thinking about the past, my relationship with her was good no doubt. There were happy times but those were the only things that i thought about. I didn't realise all the things i had to do to make her happy and all the time i had to spend trying to make sure that she didn't run off with another guy.

I'm someone who gets jealous really easily. So i think it's good for me to stay single until i can put aside the fact that it's a free world and we do whatever we want unless it's against the law. That includes going out with friends of the opposite sex on a 1-on-1 date.

But that aside.. i've only got two things to worry about right now. Work and Study, well three if you count money. haha.

On a lighter note, my bar training starts soon! Well actually started already but not officially.

PEOPLE, COME DOWN TO TCC@ATRIUM(PLAZA SING) IF YOU WANT TO GET POISONED BY THE DRINKS I MAKE :D

bahhhhhhhh.....

2008-10-21T03:20:00.004+08:00

This blog has become more of a place for me to dump my feelings rather than update what's going on with my life and stuff. Like i said, there are some stuff that i don't want to say here therefore it will end up in my journal and unless you can get your hands on it i don't think you will be able to know.

In any case probably nobody reads my blog anymore. I don't even know why i continue blogging anyway. I don't even update regularly.

To Someone,

I hate you for doing this to me, you made my life a living hell after what you told me on Sunday. If you think you can sidetrack me because of what you said think again. So what if you have had more experiences with girls and know what they're thinking? Bottom line is, YOU'RE NOT A GIRL. Well of course unless you grew a freaking vagina for some unknown reason. I'd be embarrassed if i were you, having feelings from someone living in a totally different era than you. Plus you look like you're nearing 40. Even *inserts name* looks younger than you. I'm not going to follow your advice just because you told me to. Who are you to me anyway? You don't even know me. so FUCK off.

And to you,

i just want you to be happy. I want to see you smile always, because you deserve to be happy,no matter what happens. Even if i can't be the one to give you the happiness you're looking for, after all that you've been through i hope that after time passes you will soon learn to smile again. There was a version of you, a version of you before you met him, and its not the way you are now. I don't know if telling you this will help, but the only thing that can heal a broken heart... is time.

The show hasn't ended.. it was but a season finale. Don't lose hope. Things will turn out for the better. Be strong like you always have...

2008-10-20T00:06:00.002+08:00

i don't know why i feel this way.. it's all so weird.. i mean even if i know that it's kinda impossible but at the same time i can't help but feel insecure about it.

I don't know what is this feeling inside of me that i'm having right now. I feel heartbroken before it's already happened.

I want to spill everything out here.. but i can't because then everyone will know. It'll probably go in my journal i guess. All of a sudden i feel so moodless. Like as if the whole world doesn't mean anything to me anymore.

If he really likes her... i guess it's only right for me to step aside. I'm not going to fight for something that i know i will have a high possibility of losing.

it sucks that this has to happen now... If only someone would have told me sooner...sigh..

i want to..

2008-10-13T23:07:00.002+08:00

listen to all your rants and complaints when something doesn't go your way...

sit beside you and lend you a shoulder to lean on when you're tired and want to rest...

hold your hand in both of mine and assure you that everything is going to be alright...

watch your name appear on the phone screen and pick up immediately to hear your voice...

make you smile whenever you feel like frowining...

help you to forget the past and move on to he present and future...

be someone you can look to for help whenever you need any...

be more than just a friend...

love you..... like i always have...

2008-10-06T00:52:00.002+08:00

Things are probably never going to get better. That sucks.

I keep thinking of the worst possible scenarios but i won't do anything about it, which sucks.

I wonder if time will ever return what love stole from you.

It hurts to see you like this. And it's killing me that i can't do anything about it because i'm nobody to you, just a figure of your imagination.

If i was selfish i wouldn't support what you're trying to do right now, but... knowing that even if i was selfish it wouldn't change anything, i'd rather try my best to support it. No matter how much it kills me inside.

I've been killed once before by someone whom i waited for for 2½ years. And if history repeats itself i think i don't even want to live anymore.

Somebody just save me. Please.

Thats when I love you..... no matter what

2008-10-03T11:19:00.003+08:00

when you have to look away
when you don't have much to say
thats when I love you
I love you, just that way
to hear you stumble when you speak
or see you walk, with two left feet
thats when I love you
I love you, endlessly
and when you're mad 'cause you lost the game
forget i'm waiting in the rain
baby I love you
I love you anyway

'cause heres my promise made tonight
you can count on me for life
thats when I love you
when nothing you do can change my mind
the more I learn,
the more I love,
the more my heart can't get enough
thats when I love you
when I love you
no matter what

so when you turn to hide your eyes
'cause the movie made you cry
thats when I love you
I love you a little more each time
and when you can't quite match your clothes
or when you laugh at your own jokes
thats when I love you
I love you, more than you know
and when you forget that we had a date
or that look you give when you show up late
baby i love you anyway, I love you anyway

'cause heres my promise made tonight
you can count on me for life
thats when I love you
when nothing you do can change my mind
the more I learn
the more I love
the more my heart can't get enough
thats when I love you
when I love you no matter what

ooohhh! oooooohh! thats when I love you
when nothing baby
nothing you do can change my mind
the more I learn
the more I love
the more my heart can't get enough
thats when I love you
when I love you
no matter what
ooooooohhhh ooooooooooh!
no matter what

Thats when i love you- Aslyn

this song brings back so many good memories.... and bad ones... damn.. and yes i do listen to female singers *grin* . But only if they're really really good!

Updates

2008-10-01T02:03:00.003+08:00

Lots of stuff to update.

- Got my Ipod Touch
- Worked for a month at TCC
- Am currently and SERIOUSLY in need of cash(feel free to donate to me :D)
- Won't be blogging much because i have too much personal stuff to say and it's in my journal
- Looking forward to 8th October.

Work is fun. So far... Read the SOP for drinks today and i only can remember ONE perfectly(i think).

I don't think i'm allowed to type it out so let's just assume that i do know ok? heh

Cheers! LOL

2008-09-27T00:20:00.002+08:00

out of stock...

next stock coming in?

not sure...

(repeat 10x)

_|_

In 2 weeks time...

2008-09-16T23:51:00.002+08:00

One of these babies will be MINE for the taking :D . And i'm getting the red one! Double :D:D

DAMN IT

2008-09-15T15:56:00.003+08:00

WHY DOES EVERYTHING I SET OUT TO DO ALWAYS BACKFIRE ON ME?!

I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE TORN APART IN THE MIDST OF EVERYTHING.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Friends

2008-09-10T18:49:00.004+08:00

Friends come and go. Friendships are made and lost. A decade from now will we still have the friends that we had back then?

This entry will be dedicated to two of my close friends. Please note that i did not rank them accordingly, so don't take it to heart.

1. Joel

Hmm, the time i really got to know Joel was during sec 3. Before that i only knew him by name and by appearance because i remember how we used to play Pepsi cola under the staircase to the hall during primary school.

Joel wasn't like any of my other friends that i had. Throughout the years i knew him i realised one thing. A very important trait that can be good and bad. His persistence to accomplish a certain goal, even if it's just a game.

We used to play pokemon cards during sec 3 because we were as bored as hell. And even then Joel was unbeatable. It wasn't because of the cards he had but the way he played. He could use the lousiest cards in the world and still beat you. Up till today i don't know how he does it but from what i see his IQ seems to be much higher than an average human being.

Coming to Poly, i don't think that Poly life changed him at all. True i might have told a few people that he might have changed since he came to Poly but now that i sit down and think about it, it doesn't seem so true after all. He's still as stubborn, persistent and able to turn a bad situation good given a certain time frame.

Two people can't click when one changes and the other doesn't. I know I've changed since i came to Poly. I can't say the same for him.

One flaw that i noticed about Joel is that, because he has the potential to be great, it sometimes inflates his already enlarged ego. He tends to blame others for his misfortune rather than take it upon himself.

Say for example he gets something wrong. He could blame even the birds up in the sky but not reflect upon his own actions. I've noticed this countless times. And believe me, for those of you who play DotA, he is one person you would NOT want to play with.

I was told that maybe i should have a talk with him concerning this issue, to save the friendship. Maybe when an opportunity presents itself i will. I believe that God is an opportunity maker. He creates opportunities for us to better ourselves and make our lives easier. It only reflects on how badly we want it to happen.

But one similarity that i noticed between the both of us is that sometimes we tend to be perfectionists. We'd rather do things on our own and have it our way than to let someone else do it and mess it all up.

2.Calgary

Cal was the one who changed my life when i entered Poly. Strangely enough even though I've only known him for two years or so, i can click with him better than Joel whom I've known for the past 5 years. Maybe it's because Cal is willing to listen and when he's in the wrong he accepts that it is his fault and doesn't push the blame to others. Unless of course it really isn't his fault at all. But still he will say that he has a small portion of the blame as well because it takes two hands to clap.

I could talk to Cal about things that i can't talk to Joel about. Probably because Cal has a higher EQ than Joel. He knows how to handle things rationally without letting his emotions get the better of him. See how I got my friends balanced out? One has a higher IQ than EQ and the other has a higher EQ than IQ. Me? I think i just have a Q. :D

I could talk to Cal about almost anything under the sun because he's open minded and has past experiences to share which in turn would help when undergoing a similar situation.

But of course not everything is as good as it seems. There is a small minor point that i dislike about Cal. And that's his ability to put people down.

I know friends are supposed to be there for support and sometimes there to give you reality checks. But when it comes to Cal, his reality checks are not just a little poke in the shoulder. They're an entire slap to the face. But like i said, it's only a minor flaw and sometimes I really need that slap in the face to wake me up.

Ok i know this is going to sound really retarded, but if i had a choice to keep one of these two as a lifetime friend it would have to be Cal. Because down the road i have this really bad feeling that sooner or later I'm going to end up quarreling with Joel and that would be the end. And talking to him won't solve anything because like i mentioned earlier, he's as stubborn as a mule. He's not willing to accept the fact that he had a part to play in committing that mistake. And talking to him won't work because he just won't listen.

Maybe it's about time i had that talk with Joel. Something that i should have done a long time ago. It's either this or i keep things the way they are and sooner or later i'm going to fall out with him over something which would end our friendship for good. I want to keep both of my close friends with me for life. I don't like to lose friends but if I'm the one who has to keep holding up the friendship then i don't see a point at all. Someone would probably know what this would mean...

TCC

2008-09-08T00:36:00.004+08:00

school tomorrow. boring.

work was kinda fun. slacked towards the end cause it was literally a ghost town there. The entire alfresco seating was EMPTY. The only thing i saw going past was a piece of tissue paper.

Learn how to key in orders today. Loads of fun. It's cool when you manage to find the right drinks amongst all the categories.

Joel's starting work tomorrow. Lucky dog started on a Monday. It's super dead on a Monday. I got a saturday. That's fucked up.

Stole lots of cakes today. Luckily there were not many people around so i had them ALL to myself.

Two boxes of cakes and 6 cups of tiramisu :D

random picture before i hit the hay

i was in the train home and i noticed that two other people had the same shoes as me. Or maybe i had the same shoes as the both of them. Whichever way works fine :D. I'm the one with the shoes beside the white plastic bag. The other guy was snoring away beside me.

P.s: I realised that my store has 3 soccer players working there. Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard and Thierry Henry :D

2008-09-05T23:22:00.003+08:00

And there she stood, her hair swaying in the wind.
Her smile lighting up the darkest of skies like a ray of sunshine.
Her voice could charm the most vicious of animals with a soft whisper.
Her touch could bring back to life the most wilted of plants.
And with every little bit of her that stood there, she stole what i had which was once broken; now repaired.

My heart...

commercials

2008-09-03T00:01:00.003+08:00

was watching some of the banned commercials over the years and i came across a few that almost made me fall off my chair.

Mastercard.

Durex Ultra Mega Thin Condoms

Durex condom advertisement

2008-09-01T00:10:00.002+08:00

My feet hurt
My feet hurt
My feet hurt
My feet hurt
My feet hurt
My feet hurt
My feet hurt
My feet hurt
My feet hurt
My feet hurt
My feet hurt
My feet hurt

my poor feet.

Work is good =/

Perserverence

2008-08-30T23:23:00.002+08:00

Work is extremely stressful yet strangely entertaining. Though screwing up isn't really nice because i hate to get caught in an awkward situation, but when you actually get things right it feels good because you know that you did something good and it didn't take you long to understand the procedure.

And thanks to my 10,000 year old pair of shoes that i haven't worn since 2.1, i got two blisters today and had to wear my shoes as though they were slip-on's.

Still getting the hang of the drinks menu. probably try to take orders tomorrow once i figure out what to do with them.

I love my job. Once i get the hang of things it might even get better because my colleagues are a bunch of nice people.

LIST OF THINGS TO BUY WITH MY PAY

Ipod Classic :DDDDDD

Pair of Levis Black Jeans( can't stand wearing such formal attire to work )

Black pair of sneakers ( same reason as the above )

More Clothes :D

I CAN'T WAIT FOR PAY DAY!

MATCHAZUKI!( come down to TCC if you want to find out what that is xD )

2008-08-17T01:39:00.003+08:00

You know, i actually thought of starting a journal rather than continue putting stuff on this blog. Well the difference between a blog and a journal is that you're the only one going to be reading it and you can say things that no one else has to see. Well that is of course if nobody steals a peek at it.

I realise that i prefer being in a relationship than being single. Firstly, when you do things together it's always just you and your other half. There's no extra person there to make you feel left out if the subject their talking about doesn't seem to appeal to you or is of no interest to you.

I actually miss being in a relationship. Damn. Well i guess i really don't appreciate things until their gone.

Alone

2008-08-08T22:18:00.004+08:00

Sometimes you feel that maybe someone will be better off without you in their lives. Sometimes you tend to think, that someone doesn't need you at all because whether or not you're dead or alive it won't even matter.

So this is me, saying what i've kept inside me all along.

You will never know how much you've hurt me. Emotionally and Mentally. I've been trying so hard. Till i'm on the verge of breaking down. The thing that hurts me the most is that you don't even treat me as something that has feelings.

Two and a half years i've waited. Patiently, because of what you've said to me 4 days after the day we met.

Why not we build up a solid friendship first? I really like you as a friend and i don't want to spoil it

And since i'm like that, i slowly built the friendship up. But like what you quoted from someone,

If there's only one person struggling to uphold the integrity of the relationship then he/she will sooner or later crumble under the sheer immense weight. This is what we call in crude terms gone fuck.

So how do you expect me to keep holding up this friendship when you don't even want to play the part of a friend?

I'm not angry, i'm not frustrated, i'm upset. I'm really disappointed that 2½ years of friendship had to come to this.

Metaphorically speaking, i've been "stabbed" by you so many times, till i've come to a point where i'm tired of removing the knives altogether.

The worst was when i discovered that giving you time to let go of your past actually made you think more about it and go running back into a fire you just came out of. It broke my heart. And there's no coming back from that. Knowing that i will never be significant in your eyes.

But if that's the way you want things to be like, then i can only say that it's been great knowing you. But anything beyond that, i guess i can never say...

2008-08-06T21:41:00.002+08:00

Just had my meeting with my project partner today. Kinda lazy to go into details but lets just say it sucked big time. Since you like documenting stuff so much why not we just document the whole project for you instead of doing it? _|_.

3 weeks more and i get piled up with all this shit. fuck.

zomfg

2008-08-02T21:39:00.002+08:00

i worship this guy

it'll probably be like 2000000000000000 years before i can play like him.

W.T.F

2008-07-31T22:20:00.002+08:00

WHAT THE FUCK.

I never thought in a million years that this would happen AGAIN. There's a saying that goes, once bitten twice shy. Apparently it doesn't apply here. I don't know why, i don't know how but i sure don't intend in any way to find out. Your life is none of my business, i have no right to dabble into affairs that don't concern me. But why the hell can you not see that he's using you?

I'm sorry for saying this but as a friend i have to tell you this. You're WEAK. This would probably be the second time that i'm so pissed with you. But hey you probably don't give a shit about me. Who am i to you anyway? You treat me like dirt anyway. Probably worser than how you would treat your friends. Unless you're telling me you treat all your friends the same way, then you've got some serious issues.

Sometimes we gotta let our heart lead us, but at times where the heart and the mind conflict you gotta use something called COMMON SENSE before you decide which part of you does the choosing. God, when will you EVER learn?

there's no point in me waiting for you anymore, cause i know, deep down in your heart, im not the one you truely loved. i look forward to the day i wont think about you anymore, or a mention of your name or anything related to you wouldnt hurt me at all. BULLSHIT

Wake up from your dream Mel. So what if i don't know every detail about your relationship? So what if i don't know hiro well enough? Despite all that i do know one thing. He was NEVER good enough for you and you will NEVER be good enough for him to even love you the exact same way and the exact same manner in the long run.

I said what i had to say and i stand by it.

11.47

2008-07-30T19:45:00.002+08:00

2km in 11.47 minutes. Superb improvement from last time. All i need to do is to find the perserverence to run one more round and i got my timing for 2.4km. But it's going to be different when i run the actual thing cuz i won't be able to count the number of rounds i run, it's just going to be constant running. Damn.

Shower time. Chao

Week 15

2008-07-28T22:41:00.003+08:00

One more month till freedom. I can't wait. And it probably isn't going to end there. I mean after the holidays i still gotta come back to school and go through my grading. I'm so proud of all the work I'VE done, all the effort I'VE put in and all the stress I'VE been through.

So what if i don't complain? Retribution will come one way or another. He'll get his just desserts. In the mean time, i should keep up the good work. Guitar class tomorrow. Wonder what new stuff we're going to learn.

Ran 4 rounds around the track at NYJC today and clocked a time of 10:49. Pretty stable if you ask me. But i gave up halfway cause i had no more juice left in me. Anyway it's getting pretty late. I'm gonna hit the hay now.

now i don't know what to do,
where do i go from here?
i'm having mixed feelings. Damn

-.-"

2008-07-23T10:04:00.001+08:00

screw i wish i had someone to rant to.

FUCK Steven Tan.

asdf123

2008-07-20T22:57:00.003+08:00

It's been so long already, i can't seem to fathom why i don't seem to be able to summon the courage to express my feelings. It's killing me inside.

I'm starting to feel the stress from MP/SIP. Probably cause it's already week 14 and i have about 5 more weeks left before PR 2. Time really flies doesn't it, it seems like just yesterday that i was doing research on what i was supposed to do for my project.

I realised something about myself recently. I'm a person who doesn't like to be confronted or confront others. In very layman terms i just don't like to argue/quarrel/fight etc etc.

Don't really feel like blogging so i guess i'll stop here. School tomorrow. Kill me.

Soon.

Tears of Joy, Smiles of sadness

2008-07-16T21:43:00.003+08:00

All i need to know is that you'll be there for me. And everything will be perfect. I just want to tell the world how i feel about you. But i'm afraid of the reply that i'll get.

Weekends in TFT

2008-07-13T22:05:00.003+08:00

i'm getting so noob in DOtA. Past few days i haven't been on form at all. I think i only won 2 or 3 of the aforementioned games. Arghh. Probably because i've become accustomed to Bnet standard which is pretty much the worst so i've begun to think i'm pretty good at it. Until i start playing on IRC.

Restrung my guitar. Time to start praticing. Lesson next Tuesday. Hope i learn something useful. It gets pretty boring playing the same song over and over again. The tune is stuck in my head. Oh well, back to my last game of DOta before i hit the hay. Adios.

Song Frenzy

2008-07-10T23:09:00.003+08:00

Like my title suggests, i went on a song frenzy just now! Downloaded tons of new songs to listen to. I need a new Ipod! This Ipod ain't big enough for myself .

Well, with this entry i bring good news. I got a job! :D Like finally i get to earn my own keep. No more living off the parents. No more being a scrooge when it comes to buying stuff. Can't wait to start work. Lots of stuff i want to buy...

1. New Ipod
2. New HeadPhones
3. New Clothes(Tops, Jeans,Jackets, you name it)
4. New Guitar

Which reminds me, Tuesday's guitar lesson was fun. I can't wait to learn more. The first song i'm going to learn how to play is Remembering Sunday by All Time Low once I've more or less reached that standard. That's pretty much the reason why I picked up guitar in the first place. Maybe when i've learnt guitar i'll move on to what i wanted to learn when i was still in secondary school.. drums. I've been told i've got more of a talent for drums than the guitar.

Oh well, off to bed with me. Toodles~

You're more or less a memory now.

Confessions under the coffee table

2008-07-08T22:39:00.004+08:00

I don't know what to say. I'm really lost for words.

I guess i've always been 'that guy' . Never called by name, never mentioned, just a mere stranger as a fraction of your life.

You'll never know how much you've hurt me over the years. Time and time again. Sometimes i thought that maybe life would be so much better if i didn't have to put myself through the same torture everyday.

I probably don't mean anything to you, with the huge amount of friends you have. Even successfully asking you out, to me, is like winning the lottery. It means so much to me that every second i spend with you is like a single coin to a beggar. Desperate for more, yet unable to get it.

What i say right now might not mean a thing to you. " so what? You're nobody to me , i couldn't care less even if you died cause i probably wouldn't notice"

I doubt you even know you're treating me like this. It's more or less second nature to you.

But if by some miracle you do know who you are, then it'll probably be the last you hear from me. Because i'm done waiting for you to realise that what i've been going through is not what friendship is even about.

But on second thought, i doubt you would even come across this. It'd most likely be the last place on earth in the internet you'd wanna visit.

fuck, why does life have to be so unfair to me.

Recollections.

2008-07-01T21:42:00.003+08:00

I just spent my entire night reading previous entires from my past. It really good to bring back some pleasant memories. It's good to relive the happiness that you once experienced. Stuff that you did before that you can now laugh at.

I'll always remember three days. Firstly is the day i was 'late' for my GCE 'O' level combined science mcq paper. The last paper for my 'O' levels and i thought i was late when the paper was scheduled to be in the afternoon and i woke up at 7.45am thinking that my paper was at 8am.

Second day to remember. The day i got my 'O' level results. Recalling how i used to be so crazy about maple until i could actually play it during those two weeks of examinations, it was actually the happiest moment of my life to reciece my results and see a pass.

The last day i'll always remember will be 16th October 2005. What went on that day? Only two people know. And one of them is me :D .

The guy who loves you...

2008-06-30T22:26:00.003+08:00

The guy who loves you, if he know's he can't always see you,he will try to make himself busy,so that he will not have any time to remember you,because he knew, if he did,he will keep on missing you until he could do nothing.

The guy who loves you can't tell you the reason why he loves you, but only knows that in his eyes you are the only one

The guy who loves you seldom praises you but in his heart, you are the best, and only he knows it.

The guy who loves you will worry sick or complain if you don't reply his messages because he cares.

The guy who loves you ,Only sheds his tears in front of you,and when you try to wipe his tears,you are touching his heart,the heart that beats for you.

The guy who loves you will remember every word u said ,even its accidental,and he will use those words always in the nick of time.

The guy who loves you will not promise that easily,because he doesn't want to break that promise,he wants you to believe him and he wants to give you the happiest and safest life always.

The guy who loves you always tells you not to think too much,because he planned everything,he wants to give u the perfect life in the future,he wants to surprise you,believe that he can do it.

The guy who loves you,will go to airport to fetch you, he won't carry a bouquet of roses and call you darling like what you expect.but he will carry your luggage and ask you, "why have you become so thin in two days?" with his sincere heart.

The guy who loves you will listen quietly to you,when you are mad, and when you finished talking he will say, "you have class tomorrow, have an early night" with a smile. "I'll make sure you do.."

The guy who loves you doesn't know whether he should call you when you are angry,but he will send a message to you after a few hours, and if you ask him why did he call that late, he will say when you are angry,his explanation will be rubbish.But when you calm down,his explanation will work.

The guy who loves you always calls you a kid,but everytime he wants to make a big decision,he will want to hear your advice first.

The guy who loves you don't like toys like teddy bears,but he will always put the bear you gave him on his bed,and hug it everytime he sleeps cuz it reminds him of you.

The guy who loves you, when quarrelling, will apologize non-stop,even though you're the one who's wrong, he just wants you to be happy.

The guy who loves you,when he really misses you,he will want to buy you a bouquet of roses and wait for you stupidly outside your front door and when you shockingly find him there,he'll already be asleep dreaming of you...

I'm at my wits end

2008-06-29T22:13:00.004+08:00

I need a new layout. Spongebob is boring me. (edit: ok i got it =x)

Went to exchange my external hard disk today, they said they would send a new one to me in the next 7-10 days. All my data gone -.- . I can't even back it up in my computer because i can't access it. I can't believed i got fooled into buying such a ridiculous hard disk. All their bullshit about push one button to back up all your files. I just want something that works like a freaking thumbdrive for god's sake. Not a bloody pandora's box that i can't even open properly without losing my cool. Damn it.

I have two things that i'm confused about. The first is kinda personal so i'd prefer not to let the entire world know about it. The second is which instrument i wanna learn. By right i already decided on learning the classical guitar, but today when i went down to Yamaha at Plaza Sing and heard the lady at the piano testing it out, my mind suddenly didn't want to play guitar so much anymore.

It was the most peaceful thing i've ever heard. So calm, so serene. It was as though i could just close my eyes and imagine the most beautiful setting . After listening to her song piece i began to have second thoughts. So i asked if i could have a few days to think about it and was told that i could have a 3 day reservation for me to think about it before coming down to make my registration payment. So now i'm confused, not knowing whether to learn the guitar or piano, or not learn at all. it's because i'm going to be enlisted for national service soon and i don't want to have to stop halfway. The entire course takes 5 years to finish. That's a pretty long time in my opinion.

I'm not a person who likes to make my own decisions. sometimes other people have to influence me to make them. Sometimes i have to be forced to do it. Why i never like to decide stuff is because whenever i do actually decide on something after a period of time i will start to have second thoughts. Like say buying a shirt for example, people might say i look nice in it and ask me to buy it. That might actually make me want to buy the shirt MORE than not buying it.

But at some point in out lives we all have to make our own decisions because other people won't be there for us forever now won't they?

2008-06-26T22:38:00.002+08:00

She was willing to give him anything, even the world.

But he turned a blind eye to her love for him.

And yet, she held on, refusing to let go even though she was emotionally exhausted.

Have we ever asked ourselves why do we suffer for the sake of our loved ones?

Because we love them? No.

It's only because, deep down inside, we just want them to be happy.

Even if it's just as a friend, we want their lives to be fufilling.

Even if it means dedicating your entire life to that person.

2008-06-23T21:44:00.002+08:00

Great workout i had after i came back from school. it felt really really good. I'm going again tomorrow.

I ran 5 rounds around the NYJC track non-stop, heard words of encouragement from a total stranger i didn't know and broke my specs!

ISN'T THAT GREAT?!

Ok so maybe the breaking of my specs wasn't THAT great. But right now, i feel really good about myself. Because i made someone happy today. And i'm happy with myself for actually finding the discipline to go jogging even though i told myself it'll be too late by the time i reach home.

Just seeing you smile is enough to put my heart at ease. Because i know one thing, that you deserve happiness and you should be happy. Maybe it won't mean anything to you but to me every second that smile is on your face it can make even the darkest clouds go away :) Smile always.

2008-06-20T23:54:00.006+08:00

I was just reading Melswee's blog and she did a post about all her groups of friends. Kinda set me thinking too lol. I think i'll do a post about my friends too. Though i don't have as many as her. But hey, at least there are lesser words to read.

Saint Gabriel's Primary School

I sort of lost contact with all my primary school friends except for a couple. I remember who i was close to during my last year at SGPS. Hamdan and Joel Chan. Hmm, nice memories. The first two people who i was ever close with. The bond between us was really tight. Sadly i never knew where they went to. During my early primary school years i can only remember a few of my friends, Joel and his twin Jermaine, Ronald,Philbert,Marcus,Benjamin(ang mo who lived near me, very sissy like). Ronald taught me how to play Chinese Chess, Joel and Jermaine always played games with me and my cousin under the staircase leading to the hall. The only one who followed me to the same secondary school and ended up in the same class as me was Aden.

Saint Gabirel's Secondary School

Hmm, SGSS i had a quite a number of friends. Aden followed me throughout sec 1-4 in the same class. We were always saying that it was such a coincidence. Though we weren't close during our early years in secondary school but we got to know each other better when we entered upper sec. Friends who i remember, hmm, mostly during upper sec. I still remember that our class was labelled as the most notorious express class in the whole cohord. wahaha. 3E4 to 4E4. That was our legacy. One hell of a memory. Sec3-4 i hung out with the same people. Joel, Elisha, Ian, Jerry, Aden, Faiz, Jonathan, Wei Qun. Lost contact with all except Joel and Wei Qun who are in the same course with me now. I still talk to Aden and Faiz every now and then. I saw Faiz working at Gelare at PS quite recently. And i bumped into Aden too while walking out of Serangoon MRT.

For those who spent their primary and secondary school years in a single sex school, naturally you would find i hard to adapt to an environment where there are mixed genders. And of course during your secondary school years you tend to mature and you want to experiment what it's like to be in a r/s with a girl/guy. So yeah i guess it's pretty natural for everyone.

Temasek Poly

Nothing much to say here, i don't really consider coming to poly as being able to socialise. I'm here to get my Diploma and get out, simple as that. But i only made one good friend from spending almost 3 years here. And that person is Calgary. he changed my taste in music(thank god) and introduced me to one of the best shows in life. FAMILY GUY!!! :D

Maplestory

Wow, ok. I would say that a majority of my friends would come from here. Though i'm not as close to them as my real life friends but we're still good. Hmm, lets see now, i have 2 sets of maple friends. Before i went on hiatus and before i quit. Lets see.

Before i quit:
-Tamajun( Junnnnnnnnnnn jie! :D a.k.a breadtalk wahaha :P)
-Sodiume(Weina Jie!)
-oompa(Tim Jie Fu!)
-Wizux
-Pho8nixRider(xuan)
-Scaared(Jolvin)
-Shikimii(Victoria)
-windwindOO(Georgina a.k.a my maple daughter :x)
-[forgot ign](Jeff, Georgina's real life husband)
-Pinkus(Cheryl, my maple mummie!)
-Sesstenseiga(Joel, not the one i know in real life.)
-Frozenstryke(Keith, Joel's friend)
-Allia(Vivian, maple dear)
-PanpanB(Geraldine, maple nu er number 2 :x)
-Radicalxy(panpan's maple dear)
-Yourichi(Aaron, knew though Melswee)
-[forgot ign](Leoric, friends for only awhile before he quit)
-Archerosh( shuhui, also through Melswee)

I actually met a few of them in real life before. Sodiume became my god sis in real life but thanks to some problems our relationship has been stained. That's a part of my life i really regretted. Shikimii became my girlfriend and we had a relationship which lasted till only recently. I'd prefer not to go into detail. I met up with Pinkus only once on the count that i promised her dinner. Tamajun was only when i was back from hiatus that i met her.

Before Quitting:

-Dycedarg(Stanley, the leader of DuckieFC)
-TisSueBoii(Qi Jun a.k.a sue because it's a shorter form of tissue lol)
-Dumb0Jumb0(Wei Cheng, currently in the same poly and school as me but a year younger)
-TooHot4U(Lod, met him through Jun jie)
-Reelyn( Rueylin, full of nonsense LOL. Always crapping with her)
-shjt( Yingying a.k.a mouse. She lives near me! Good friend lol)
-mmph92(Jaz, not that close with her. Suffered some drama with her at some point of time)
-Auburnshot( the stupid noob. Just kidding :D)
-xEvilBlazex(Shah, the guy who always emos because of his love life lol)

And there's that one special person i met that changed my life entirely. But sadly things weren't meant to be. Sigh. I couldn't bring myself to carry on, i just couldn't. I guess she won't ever read this but i just want to say that it's really been a pleasure knowing you. Even though she won't read this, i hope we stay friends forever :)

Well for this group i've actually met all of them before. I got to know them all through Jun jie when i joined the DuckieFC guild. Bunch of friendly people. I swear i've never laughed as much as i have when i'm with them. Even though they're more fluent with their chinese i don't mind. They still kill me with all the jokes they throw at me. Love them all.

DOtA friends

Ahh, i still remember the time when i was hardcore about DOtA. All the training sessions, overnight LAN sessions and clan outings. Memmories to be kept with me forever. Lordkanenites(Ash), Cloudnites(Leo),Kpg)Yachiru, Kpg)Lubu, Kpg)Kiimbalor, Platinum_groove, Hyde_Faith, GilesCheah. United Clan of Kampong, Clan KPG. Always in my heart :)

Random Friends

Well well well, most of the people here are girls actually. LOL. Remember what i said about being in a single sex school for 10 years? Well at some point of time you tend to get sort of desperate and grasp any opportuinity you have at talking to a member of the opposite gender. Thus began the story of Melody. Things kinda got out of hand and lets just say it was sort of a mess. But in the process i got to know Melswee and we've become good friends over the years.

Kai Xian was my first ever girlfriend that i had. Disaster i tell you. That's all i'm going to say. But i got to know Eileen at the same time and i'm still talking to her currently.

Sabrina! my living diary. I used to pour all my joys and sorrows to her on msn and on the phone. We used to be so close before i entered Poly, but now we seldom talk. It's quite sad actually.

Friends whom i never want to lose contact with(in no order)
-Joel
-Calgary
-Melswee(the "no eyebags" version)
-Junnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn jie :D
-Weina jie
-Reelyn
-Mouse
-Aden
-Yiping

You guys mean alot to me. I would hate it if one day i woke up and found these people missing from my life. I think i would just DIE.

Ok i guess that was quite a long entry too. Well i'm going to bed. Gotta be up early for movie marathon tomorrow!

2008-06-15T21:37:00.002+08:00

I feel so bored. Like there's nothing to do in my life anymore. Like now for example, i wanna post something on my blog but can't even find the words to type. That's how bored i am. Ugh. Monday tomorrow, gotta work on my project before PR1. Thanks to my so called partner who isn't doing any work at all, i've beeen left with the responsibility to start doing work or else the group is going to die. But you know it's always like that in a group with 2 people. Usually one will be slacking while the other is working. Same goes for groups of 3, two works while the other just stares into thin air.

I feel like i've made alot of wrong choices in my life. I wanna correct the mistakes i've made in the past but i've not been presented with a proper opportuinity to redeem myself. I've often asked myself why do i have to go through such pain. Then i realised that it actually didn't have to be this way until i made the choice to let it be like this. Life is all about presenting opportuinites to people. We are presented with an opportunity and are left to deal with it in any way that we please. It's sort of like a flowchart. For those of you who don't know what a flowchart is, it's actually a diagram whch represents a certain process. In this flowchart the process is life itself, and we have different points in our lives where we have to make choices and depending on those choices it affects our lives differently. If you're still not sure as to what i'm talking about then go google "flowchart" then you'll see what i mean.

2008-06-08T22:24:00.002+08:00

When everything's meant to be broken, i just want you to know who i am....

Iris- The Goo Goo Dolls

I've never felt so lost in my entire life. I wish i could cry it all out, but it wouldn't change a thing. Sigh.. Life has played me out again..

2008-06-07T08:22:00.004+08:00

Why does time have to tick so slowly?

I don't want to be tortured like this anymore. It's like a drug, the more you take the more you want it. You crave for it like a man in the desert looking for that single drip of water to quench his thirst. You yearn for it the way a child wants a toy and throws a tandrum if he doesn't get it. And your desperate to get it as soon as possible the minute the opportuinity presents itself.

I'm not talking about food or toys or even drugs for that matter. But think carefully and try to solve this mystery. It's not that hard, everyone has to go through it at some point of your life. Unless of course you're a social outcast, in which case i wish you the best of luck .

I need to find something to distract myself. Something to keep me occupied until the time comes. Look at the time this was posted and you'll see my point. Sleep has lost its comfort, food has lost its taste and technology has presented itself in such a way that it only makes matters worse. Arghh. Come to think of it it's because of technology which is why i'm in this godforsaken state.

And if you're reading Cal, it's not porn. I know what you're thinking up there LOL. Same goes to any of you dimwits out there who think i'm going to talk about porn in my blog. That's downright absurd.

Self respect comes before anything else. That's a principle i adhere to. Because if you don't respect yourself how are you expected to do the same to others? How you react against yourself shows how you will react against others.

*i'm talking about random shit that comes to my mind now. Kindly ignore me or feel free to do something else instead of reading this*

I was brought up in a family that was... I can't find the word for it. I think it's a strict code of conduct. It all went down right from the way you dressed to the way you zipped your pants when coming out of the toilet. But that's for my mum's side of the family. Dad's side is the total opposite. Here's the difference

Mum's Side | Dad's Side

Friendly? Y Y

Sociable? Y N
Thinks of others before themselves? Y N
Will not hesitate to voice out if something is wrong? Y N
(something's wrong with the layout. Make it out yourself =x)

See where i'm going with this? I think it all boils down to your upbringing that makes you the person that you are today. Mum told me stories of how my grandparents(mum) used to beat them(by the way my mum had 5 siblings, i guess mass reproduction was kind of an in thing in those days) with a rice sack over their heads.

Just thinking of how children were punished back then and how we're punished now makes a whole lot of difference. But it all balances up. You know why? Because back then there were LESSER reasons to get punished. I mean, no computers,handphones,game consoles. The only thing people did for entertainment were to climb trees and catch spiders. So when the punishment comes it only comes once and it hits hard.(sorry that sounded wrong.)

But now there are so many MORE reasons to get punished despite the punishment being lighter. Exploding your handphone bill, overuse of the computer, playing too much games, spending too much money on games. See? it all balances up.

I'm really good at talking crap but i think no one's going to read my blog anymore if i'm going to do composition length posts in the near future. So i guess that will have to be it until i feel like rambling on about random things again.

2008-06-06T12:08:00.007+08:00

I don't want this moment, to ever end,
Where everything's nothing, without you.
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile,
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.

Through it all, I made my mistakes.
I stumble and fall,
But I mean these words.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.

Thoughts read are spoken, forever in doubt.
And pieces of memories fall to the ground.
I know what i did and so, I won't let this go.
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.

All the streets, where I walked alone,
With nowhere to go.
Have come to an end.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.

In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you don't know what you're looking to find.
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you just never know what you will find.

I don't want this moment to ever end.
Where everything's nothing without you.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.

With Me- Sum 41

The song speaks to me. I love the chorus. :D

2008-06-05T20:26:00.002+08:00

A fresh start... better make sure i think before i leap.

Anyway school has been very monotonous for me. Day in day out doing the same routine with abit of work thrown in. I better not drag this. I don't want to be involved in last minute work again. I'm sure they gave us 19 weeks for a reason, not for us to slack 10 weeks and 9 weeks to finish up the project.

Been 'stealing' songs off people's Itunes in school. Finally i have some new music to listen to. Had to stop at some point of time because i don't have an indefinite amount of space on my own Ipod.

Well that's about it. Pretty boring if you ask me. I already told myself to prepare to be pinned down because this will probably drag on until i finish NS. 9-5 routine everyday. Seriously i'd rather work from 12-8. It'd be so much better for me. But it'd take up even more time. At least after 5 i can do whatever i like. Don't think there's much to do at 8pm anyway.

String your heartstrings to a guitar and play a tune of everlasting love.

2008-05-24T19:41:00.005+08:00

Finally bought my running shoes. Since now's the Great Singapore Sale i figured the time was about right.

Presenting the Nike Free Gym. I asked dad to get a pair of running shoes but he suggested Cross training shoes instead as they serve the same purpose and more. Hopefully with these pair of beauties, my motivation to go jogging or play sports every friday will be fuelled. They look quite nice too i might add. Though white shoes aren't exactly my thing. Kinda reminds me of secondary school when worn with black/dark blue jeans.

In any case school has been horrible. I've been told time and again that my proposal for the project is wrong as i've got the entire concept of the system wrong. Here's what i proposed at first.

Admin submits a product, the product is viewed by other admins who will approve it or if the content is irrelavant or insufficient then it's deleted.

Here's what he proposed after i submitted my design proposal just the other week.

~~Admin submits a product, viewed by a reviewer who will pass it on to a copyrighter to compile information if it passes the grading criteria and finally passed to a publisher to be publised on the net~~ bullshit.

I don't understand why does the admin have to be split into 3 different people when the work can all be done by one person. Well since they're so rich and they want it that way then so be it.

My laptop almost crashed on me today. The monitor almost went bonkers and i wanted to bring it down to Funan to get it repaired(about time). But my bro told me to wait awhile as the CPU may have overheated or something as i left it on the whole night in an air-conditioned room while downloading games for my PSP. Miraculously it worked. Amazing what the power of patience can do. Apparently some people have none.

Speaking of my PSP. I sort of killed it yesterday. Cal wanted to update the firmware for me and failed to do which resulted in a 'bricking'. What that word actually means is when the firmware is updated they have to unload your previous firmware and load the new one. If somewhere in between something happens your PSP is left with no firmware. Thus resulting in a 'bricked' PSP. It's sort of like a computer without an operating system so to speak.

Luckily i found someone online to 'unbrick' it for me for $5 rather than visiting the neighbourhood shops which charge around $20-30 for 'unbricking' , according to the guy who fixed it for me. And to think he's around the same age as me, studying in NYP.

Well that about sums up what's been happening for the past few weeks/days. I haven't been doing my MP weekly report for two weeks now, i guess i'd better start on Monday. Life sure sucks. Especially if you have a parter who only offers suggestions but refuses to do any work or even OFFER to do something. Sure people will tell me to give him work to do but looking at the way he does it i'd much rather do it myself thank you very much. I'm off.

2008-05-19T21:21:00.003+08:00

I really hate to feel jealous.

I really hate to feel like i don't even matter in the least way.

I really hate to be left out.

I really hate that you're doing this to me and you don't even consider how i feel about it.

I really hate it.

2008-05-10T01:00:00.002+08:00

Heh. Told you there was more to come if i was bored. The last picture is the entire lab. Well most of the people in there anyway. Anyway i sprained a muscle and it hurts like hell. My pocket hurts like hell too, my psp analog stick decided to go wacky on me resulting in me burning $25 just to fix it. Damn. Now i'm totally broke. And i still need a pair of running shoes for weekly games day in school. Sponsors anyone?

2008-05-07T23:42:00.001+08:00

Just something i did to kill time. More to come when i'm feeling bored again =x

2008-05-07T22:16:00.002+08:00

im hell of tired. I don't even have energy to blog. And hell no am i going to blog in school and let everyone see, i'm not THAT desperate to blog ok.

Anyway i'll just sum up what happened since my last entry.

I go through my daily routine of rotting in school from 9am-5.30pm. Then i take a 1 hour++ bus ride home and rot at home from 7pm to 11pm. Then i sleep and wake up at 7am to go to school only to rot again from 9pm-5.30pm.

I had my first jogging session last friday, being it the first time i jogged since god knows when, naturally my legs got sore. Well almost every part of my body did but the legs were the worst.

And i still have 2 more days to go before the weekend. Oh boo. Shall update over the weekend. Kinda lazy =P

2008-04-25T22:45:00.003+08:00

Finally it's the weekend.

Finally i get a break and get to go out.

Finally i get some rest.

Only for 2 measly days.

Then it's back to doing slave work for TP. _|_

At least i managed to watch a movie with Cal and Joel today.

Managed to catch Harold and Kumar: Escape From Guantanamo Bay

It's too good a movie to miss! I'd give it 4.5/5 stars.

But sad to say it's M18 *evil laugh at those below 18* =x

Guess you could just download it or something but it's a must watch!

Only sad thing was we were 3rd row form the front so didn't really have a nice view.

The entire cinema was laughing until we couldn't hear what they were saying.

If you doubt me go to youtube to check out their cut scenes. It's just too fantastic.

Hope part 3 will be out.

Ok i'm going to get my much deserved rest now. Bye.

2008-04-22T20:25:00.002+08:00

I'm so tired i could just faint.

And it's only the second day.

I'm already mentally and physically worn out.

Can't imagine doing this for the next 19 weeks.

I'm going to become such a no-lifer.

And i can't stand sleeping so early everyday.

Can't wait for the weekends. Fuck polytechnics and their Major projects/attachments and whatever fucking nonsense they have for 3rd years. It's all BULLSHIT.

2008-04-19T23:23:00.002+08:00

Hi,

Unless you have been attached out as informed by your lecturer, otherwise please report to school on

Date : 21 April 2008, Monday

Time : 8.30 am

Venue : EN10-2

Attendance will be taken and anyone came in later than 9.00am will be considered as late.( Sorry, there is no 15 min grace as per your normal lab/tutorial class.) There will be 200 plus students crowding around En 10-2 areas and therefore you are advised to come at 8.30am.

This would be the first day of your MP and you will be treated like working adults. Please come in with proper covered shoes as you are working in a PC lab.

Rdgs

Mr. Ng Choon Seong

Lecturer

Upon receiving this email from the head lecturer for MP my first reaction was _|_.

After cooling down my reaction became @__@.

Felt kinda bored after finding out that i'll be going through the same routine for the next 20 weeks.(Could be more if i can't complete the project on time)

Wake up(7.15)--> 1 hour bus ride+human/traffic jams-->sit in the lab for 8+ hours--> another 1 hour bus ride home+human/traffic jams

Kill/Stab/Burn/Incinerate/Tear/Rip/____(insert violent adjective here) me.

And then i did some calculations to brighten my mood a LITTLE.

20 weeks=> 7 daysx20 = 140 days
2 weekends per week= 2x20= 40 days
140 days - 40 days= 100days! =D

So i'll only be doing this for 100 days! Not to mention minus all the public holidays. Unless you're telling me that i have to go back even on public holidays because that would be just f-ed up because even working adults get public holidays and its stated that we're to be treated LIKE WORKING ADULTS.

And i've already counted all my holidays! =D

1st May -Labour Day
19th May- Vesak Day
9th August-National Day(screw it's on a saturday. BOOHOO)

So 100 days - 2 days= 98 days!!!!

I should be done by late September. Hopefully. I seriously don't wanna drag it any longer than i should.

Oh well, been playing Monster Hunter/DotA for the past few days. Got quite far in Monster Hunter. I guess my PSP will be my only companion throughout the 98 days of going to school.

And as an afterthought it won't be so bad since all i'll be doing is slacking in the lab. But of course there has to be some form of daily work input or else i'll be way behind time.

Well i'm off to DotA now. Will update when school starts =)

2008-04-12T03:51:00.002+08:00

Today i have an earthshaking announcment to make. One that might send shivers down your spine. One which will tear apart any building like crumbling a cookie.(i'm just trying to build up the atmosphere here)

I'm going to QUIT MAPLESTORY FOR GOOD

Yes you all read correctly. I'm going to quit for good. Well not really for good but at least for a long long while.

I think it'll be for the better. It'll be better for me physically, mentally,financially and emotionally. In all aspects i suppose.

But of course i won't be selling the stuff in there. Probably just leave it to rot or something. Maybe i'll log in once in awhile to chat and stuff but no more than that.

I think it's better for me =) I'd have to quit sooner or later anyway.

2008-04-07T03:36:00.003+08:00

Update Update!

Holidays are over soon! Starting school on 20th April but gotta go back tomorrow for MP briefing. BOO.

Been doing nothing much over the holidays. Just playing maple/dota/gunbound/wolfteam and whatever games i can get my hands on. Freaking boring i tell you.

"get a job"

Heard this MANY MANY times. I'm lazy to keep repeating myself. I don't wanna get a job not because i don't want to, but because i don't want to put myself under pressure when my third year starts. Moreover it's just going to be one more year before i have to serve NS.~~Screw the governement~~=D.

Went to Changi Airport today. Haven't been there since god knows when. Probably in 2002 when i went to Australia for a two week holiday. That's the furthest i've been for home. Isn't it just SAD and PATHETHIC. I so wanna travel ok, but god knows when. Probably when i get out from NS or something. It sucks ass to see all your friends being able to travel and you stuck in ________(insert word/s here) Singapore.

Anyway. T3 was nice. Went to candy empire, hijacked a few trollies,sat on the skytrain and had dinner at swensons. I did something today that i've never done before. Hehe. Shall not say. Oh and i just remembered i left chocolate in my bag. Probably melted by now. wheeee. Lemme check...

*rummages through bag*

Yup. As soft as cotton. I'll put it in the fridge later. Anyway my house is out of elctricity! Well not really, just the lighting. Mum probably screwed up the wiring when she decided to pull out the two chandiliers(sp) that were hanging from the ceiling of my house. Apparently it's a sight for sore eyes since there's only one bulb in it when there could have been five. And if i keep growing i just might knock into it when i take a trip to the kitchen. Trust her to save electricity.

I just thought of something i wanna get. A bluetooth thingy for my comp so that i can transfer pictured without the hassle of using a cable. Then this blog would have more pictures instead of all words. I know you guys hate to read blah blah blah blah. Whatever. I'll try to get one.

Well that about sums up what i've been up to these past few weeks/days. Gotta wake up at 10 tomorrow so i guess i'll hit the hay.

2008-03-21T03:20:00.003+08:00

omg i saw this video on reelyn's blog. It's like so wtf.

Anyway i'm a level 70 crusader! wheee! 71 to be exact because i trained till 99% before going for my advancement =D.

2008-03-17T15:17:00.005+08:00

This post will be mostly about maple. So if you don't play maple then it'll be quite hard for you to understand. haha.

Went for zak yesterday. Intended to sneak in to get a helm. wahaha.

And i got in! on the first try. SL didn't kick me. So all i had to do now was to sit there quietly and pot. Luckily i had a few friends there and they partied me .

Here's a shot of me sitting quietly =x

And after enduirng about an hour of pressing one button to heal my HP. I finally got my helm! yayness!

Weee~~~ i'm one happy mapler! =D

Ok end of maple. Let's talk about something else.

Oh yeah. Did you all know? The steamboat at Marina Bay has been shut down!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *cries*

I used to enjoy going there with friends. But now i can't because they've moved!

But one of them moved to Boon Keng which is kinda near here o_O .

Went to watch 10,000 BC yesterday. Not a bad movie. Liked the graphics. But storyline made no sense to me. It's sort of like a wild goose chase. Someone gets kidnapped and
gets saved. I only like the part where they showed the top view of the pyramid set. I was like "wow, how much did they have to spend on that? Probably millions"

Here's a quote from 10,000 BC

Many men throw a circle around themselves and protect those within, some throw a small circle and include only family. Others throw a slightly bigger circle and include siblings and relatives. But there are few who throw a circle around themselves which include an entire village.

Something like that. Can't get the exact quote. Watch the movie to find out more! =D

Going to maple now. Bye!

2008-03-13T15:07:00.002+08:00

I passed my exams!

WooHoo!!

And i didn't get a single D grade!!

Double WooHoo!!

And i get to enjoy my holiday until next sememester!!

Triple WooHoo!!

And i haven't got back my $100 from my bro for my Levi's jeans!!

Quadruple WooHoo!!(ok not so much of a WooHoo)

Enough of WooHoo's. I'm going to go crazy now. =D

2008-03-09T18:27:00.002+08:00

I'm 60% happy and 40% sad. Here's how it's been divided.

Sad because...

-I didn't get my Razer mouse(20%)
-I didn't get my Ipod Classic(20%)

Happy because...

-I got a pair of Levi's jeans instead!(30%)
-I DID get my pair of headphones(30%)

Here's how i spent my last 3 days:

Thursday-IT Fair
Friday-IT Fair
Saturday-IT Fair

Really stupid because i went there three days in a row. Which means i've been looking at the same thing for three days. It's boring with a capital B. I'm starting to turn into a GEEK. Help me~~~~~~~

But i had no choice. First day i went down to have a look-see. Thought about my choices through the night and went down again on the second day to buy the stuff i made my mind up on. But apparently my jeans had to be altered so i was told to collect it the next day. So i went down again the next day with Joel cause he needed to get a laptop for next semester. Lucky bastard got a good deal so he asked his mom for another $100 to buy a razer mouse. But he split it between a mouse and a pair of headphones. My parents wouldn't even give me money to buy this sort of junk.

I still remember how i had to painstakingly save every cent for my Razer Diamondback.
And he got his in the blink of an eye. Grr..

Results will be out on Thursday. Really worried. Hope i can scrape through. *fingers crossed*

2008-03-06T01:05:00.003+08:00

i miss my PSP T_T .

stupid brother of mine took it away from me because i told him i wasn't playing it anymore at the moment. And to think i thought he was getting me a new one.

sigh.

Now i have nothing to do at home during weekdays cause no one plays any games with me throughout the night.

Had DuckieFC outing today. It was kinda good. watched The Leap Years. Quite touching actually. Then had dinner at Swensons. Shared an Earthquake with WC,jie and Lod. Was kinda nice since it was the first time i had one.

On the bright side, IT fair is coming up. 7th-10th March. Will be going down to take a look. Got quite a few things on my list i wanna buy. Lod said that the deals for the IT fair this year is good.

THINGS I WANNA BUY AT THE IT FAIR
-Ipod
-Razer Mouse
-New Earphones

Hopefully i can get 2/3 items on that list.

Still don't know what to get for my birthday though. Maybe a pair of Levis jeans? Never had one of those. Might be good to have one. At least i'd have something nice to wear out.

Shall end here. Wanna get back to playing DotA. ALONE.

Anticipating the release of my results

Wish Upon a star

2008-03-01T23:30:00.007+08:00

I want them all!!!

With the exception of choosing one mouse and one crumpler =D

Anybody willing to buy them for me as a birthday gift? I'll smile for you if you do =x

And while i was watching L: Change The World today i saw this starhub advertisement which never fails to make me lol

And this M1 advertisement which i saw on TV a couple of days ago

2008-02-27T22:02:00.002+08:00

I think i lost 20 marks for IA paper because of some stuff i didn't study.

_|_ IA and ITech. I'm over both of them. Time to throw those books in the cupboard!(except for ITech, gotta return that to jie LOL)

On a lighter note,

Exams are finally over!! *throws streamers and whatever nonsense*

So feel free to date me out people! Because i'm FREE(not free as in $$ free but free as in plenty of time kinda free)

Anyway shall end with something i saw on jie's blog. Had a hard time getting it off cause she disabled right click. But i did it eventually. heh

BEFORE MARRIAGE

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

AFTER MARRIAGE:
Read from the bottom going up

2008-02-26T10:40:00.002+08:00

failed my BTT. woooo~ Next session is in May how wonderful. By then i would have already started on my major project and probably won't have time to even go for the test. Oh well. Let's see what my dad says first. He was the one who suggested i take the test in the first place.

Anyhow, ITech paper next! Let's hope i don't fail this.

New Layout

2008-02-25T22:40:00.001+08:00

Got this off the net few weeks ago but didn't have the time to play around with it. Don't really have much time to fiddle with it now. I'm due with my ITech books now. Will update soon. Basic theory and ITech main exam tomorrow. Killer combo. Will update soon, hang in there guys =)